Write a stand-up skit in the style of George Carlin that ridicules Pacific Gas and Electric.

( The stage is dark , and a spot light sh ines on a l one figure , who is holding a micro phone . The figure is dressed in a suit and tie , and is clearly a stand - up com ed ian .) \n \n Com ed ian : " L ad ies and gentlemen , have you heard about Pacific Gas and Electric ? You know , the company that provides us with electric ity and gas ? Well , let me tell you , they ' re a real piece of work . \n \n " First of their name , Pacific Gas and Electric , the company that ' s always there when you need them ... unless you need them . Then they ' re now here to be found . \n \n " You ever have one of those days where everything ' s going wrong ? You sp ill your coffee , you trip on the side walk , and then you look at your bill from Pacific Gas and Electric and it ' s like , ' What the hell is this ?' \n \n " They ' re like the gas and electric version of a used car sales man . ' Oh , this car might have a few d ents , but it ' ll get you where you need to go ... event ually .' \n \n " And don ' t even get me started on their customer service . It ' s like they ' re trying to make a TV show about it . ' Wel come to Pacific Gas and Electric , where we ' re so in comp et ent , we ' re actually entertain ing !' \n \n " But the real k icker is when they send you those ' energy - s aving ' tips . ' Did you know that by turning off your lights for an hour a day , you can save $ 1 0 a month on your electric bill ?' Yeah , because who has time to do that ? I ' m too busy trying to figure out why my electric bill is so high in the first place . \n \n " So , to Pacific Gas and Electric , I say : ' Thanks for the electric ity , but you ' re not getting a tip from me . In fact , I ' m going to go out and find a better company to give my money to .' " \n \n ( The com ed ian puts down the micro phone and steps away from it , as the spot light f ades to black .) </s>