Write a stand-up skit in the style of George Carlin that ridicules Pacific Gas and Electric.

Lad ies and gentle men , I ' m here to talk about Pacific Gas and Electric . You know , the company that ' s always trying to convince you that they ' re your friend , but really they ' re just a bunch of greed y , un eth ical bast ards . \n \n I mean , come on , have you ever seen one of their commercial s ? They ' re always trying to make you think that they care about you , that they ' re looking out for your best interests . But let me tell you something , they don ' t give a damn about you . All they care about is making more money . \n \n And don ' t even get me started on their customer service . Have you ever tried to call them with a problem ? It ' s like trying to get through a brick wall . You ' re on hold for hours , only to be transferred to another person who doesn ' t know anything about your problem . And then , when you finally get someone who can help , they act like it ' s some kind of miracle . \n \n But you know what the real kick er is ? They ' re always raising your rates . It ' s like they ' re trying to pun ish you for using electricity . And the worst part is , they never tell you why your rates are going up . They just give you some vague , bullshit excuse and expect you to accept it . \n \n So , in conclusion , Pacific Gas and Electric , you ' re a bunch of sc amm ers and li ars . And I ' m not going to stand for it anymore . I ' m going to start using alternative energy sources , and I ' m going to spread the word about how terrible you are . Because the truth is , you deserve it . Thank you . </s>